


I'm over here, hurting

by itsbeenawhilebutistillfeelthesame



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bi!Jake, Bisexual, Bisexual Jake Peralta, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Break Up, Comfort, Did I Mention, Fluff, Heartbreak, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jake is bi, M/M, Moving Out, One Shot, Oneshot, b99 - Freeform, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 10:39:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsbeenawhilebutistillfeelthesame/pseuds/itsbeenawhilebutistillfeelthesame
Summary: Jake gets dumped. Amy is there for him through it.





	I'm over here, hurting

**Author's Note:**

> hiii! It’s been a while since i’ve posted and this is my first b99 fic! I guess when i get attached to some sort of media i like to envision myself in those characters + i really see myself in jake with being bi (and also his poor attention span.) this was inspired by me laying in bed at 2am with okay by LANY stuck in my head so here it is! (title from the same song)

Jake unlocks the door to Amy’s apartment, because he’s had a key forever. Forever is a funny word, isn’t it? Jake and Amy have been friends forever, specifically since he tripped playing hopscotch and scraped his knee. 7-year-old Amy was the one who found him and walked him to the nurse’s office for a band-aid. 

Josh also said “forever” to him, and look how that turned out. Jake’s heart hurts. He didn’t know it was possible to feel this way.

Jake has a tendency to show up to Amy’s place, unannounced. That’s just always how it’s been. When he opens the door the first thing he smells is vanilla. Amy always keeps a candle on the coffee table. Whatever scent she has burning at that time is what home smells like. It doesn’t matter how frequently it changes. 

He doesn’t see Amy upon first glance, but he knows she’s around because the lights are on and he has her work schedule memorized.

After dropping his armful of belongings and dragging in the rest from the hallway, he places his keys on the island counter, calling out his best friend’s name. He toes off his shoes, and begins to walk further into the apartment.

He reached the living room by the time Amy appeared from the hallway that leads to her bedroom, dressed in one of her old college hoodies, feet clad in her signature bunny slippers. She opens her mouth, likely to comment on the entire apartment’s worth of shit suddenly in her kitchen, but before she can get any words out, Jake stops her.

“Josh dumped me and I didn’t know where to go,” biting his bottom lip and staring at the ground. Realistically, he always knew he could come to Amy’s, but this time it was (obviously) very different. As tears begin to well up in his eyes, Amy rushes to him, engulfing him in what she hopes is the tightest hug ever.

Jake knows he’s an ugly crier (but really, who isn’t?,) and he apologises between sobs for getting Amy’s sweatshirt all wet. She wipes his eyes with her sleeve and tells him not to be silly. They sit down on the couch, not breaking contact. 

“I’m gonna be okay,” Jake stammers between sniffles, “right?”

Amy holds him close, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. “Of course you are.”

Jake had just moved out of his (now ex) boyfriend’s place, and he feels completely and utterly lost. He loved Josh like he never loved anyone else before. They discussed marriage and adopting kids. Jake kept a list of baby names in his phone notes, along with the phone numbers to adoption agencies. He can’t help but wonder where he went wrong.

He also wonders if he’s going to get his pillow back, because he forgot it on the couch on his way out. It’s kind of hard to see clearly when one of the few people you would take a bullet for tells you they’ve found someone new, that he should probably pack his stuff and go. They bought it together the first week Jake unofficially moved in, something about needing cushioning between Josh’s bony shoulder and Jake’s head when they cuddled. Jake doesn’t know if he’ll ever go back to Josh’s apartment again (and to be honest, he doesn’t know if he even wants to.) He doesn’t even really need the pillow now, considering the likelihood of Jake and Josh getting back together is nonexistent so he doesn’t have any bony shoulders to protect his head from.

Jake exhales a long, shuddery breath as Amy continues running her fingers through his hair, “I hope so.” Amy is right about everything, always. He hopes, even prays, that she is right about this too.

After (painfully) using the last hour to explain to Amy what just happened, he stands up to leave. “Where are you going?” Amy began. He may spend a lot of time here, but his mom once told him to not invite himself into other people’s homes.

“Uh, home?” he questioned, attempting to feign his normal self. Amy, being her mom-friend-self, has no intentions of letting him leave this room, let alone the building. 

“Jake, you’re not going anywhere.”

Standing defensively, arms crossed against his chest, “why, did you go to my apartment and donate all of my stuff to GoodWill?” he interrupts her.

She stands up, matching his posture, the only difference being her hands are on her hips. “No, because it’s late and raining, you have way too much stuff to carry home, you won’t be able to see where you’re going. What if someone robs you?” Amy certainly knew how to contradict everything that ever left Jake’s mouth. To her defense, Jake may have even dropped some precious cargo along the way, but it’s fine, because New York has a major homeless problem so hopefully the bag he lost ends up in the hands of someone who deserves it. 

He accepts Amy’s very valid point and sits back down on the sofa. His eyes flicker back and forth like the flame of the candle still burning on the table. He doesn’t know if he wants to look at Amy or out the window. He elects to stare at the wall. Amy gets up to lock the door, because she notices Jake forgot to.

Jake attempts to challenge Amy again. “Ok but Ames, consider this: I’m fine.” He really needs to learn how to think before he talks.

“You’re not fine. Lay down. Rest,” Amy urges him to stay. Jake begins to retaliate, but then he realizes he doesn’t know the last time he was at his own apartment. It’s October, which means he would need the heat on, and most of the utilities were shut off because he was never there. The only reason he continued paying rent was because he was practically using the apartment as a storage unit, to hold onto all of his old stuff he didn’t actually need.

He settles back into the couch. “You’re right. Plus I don’t want to be alone.”

He sighs, laying his head in Amy’s lap, just thinking. He’s never been in this situation before. His past relationships ended either on his own terms or mutually.

There was Heather, who went away to college in California. Neither of them wanted to do long distance, and Jake knew it wouldn’t work anyway. Paul was his first boyfriend and they met first year of university. Both of their intentions lied in experimenting with their sexuality and they both wanted to try other things (or people.)

He stops himself there, because creating this mental list of every relationship he’s had isn’t exactly reassuring to his confidence. Amy’s hand running through his hair is making him sleepy, sleepy to the point that he can’t really see clearly right now, and he snuggles further into her lap, sleep eventually taking him under.

-

When he wakes up with his head still in Amy’s lap, he doesn’t make a comment on it. He slowly scans his surroundings, making note of his large pile of belongings still by the door.

Everything comes rushing back. Amy must notice, because only then does she initiate conversation. “Hey,” she smiles at him, “are you feeling better today?”

“No,” he pauses, “but I’m gonna be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave feedback! bi Jake makes my heart so soft, and I wanted to see more of it out there :D  
> also, if you love b99 and LANY pls hmu


End file.
